Monday, February 1, 2010

BREAKING: NASA still has a budget

Alright, alright, alright... some of you are probably saying to yourself:
"But [Dr.] Dru, didn't you read the actual article you posted? Don't you see that there is still a huge amount of money going to NASA? Don't you actually see that the title is very misleading about saying we won't go back to the moon? Is this why you didn't get a real doctorate and just a self proclaimed [doctorate], because you didn't read carefully?"
And to those people I say:
  1. I did read the article, fuck you very much, I'm an EXPERT.
  2. I see that there's a large portion of money going to Space exploration and that Obama's team has expressly pointed out that the particular budget they were cutting is just one program that was running late and overbudget.
  3. CNN is never misleading. Not while Anderson Cooper is around.
  4. 9 out of 10 "actual" doctors that I've threatened believe my [doctorate] to be legit.
Let me be clear: I AM STILL ANGRY! Any money taken away from the chance that I might live in a moon hole makes me angry. This includes the national budget, NASA research funding and the savings account I have called "Moon Fund for a Moon House and possibly to raise a Moon Baby with my Moon Wife." I know what you're thinking... and you're being racist. A mixed Moon marriage should NEVER be looked down on.

And I should know. I just decided I'm an [expert on civil rights, exclusively on the moon].

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